The 1 truth that shatters perfectionism and the underlying mechanisms that shackle you within...

A 3-5 min read that will explain why you suck at feeling good or being at peace, even if you're extremely capable in other fields.

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By now, everyone knows perfectionism is unhealthy.

Still, a lot of results-driven people stay in this paradigm.

Even the ones really working on it tend to shift back often.

IF Mufasa was a PERFECTIONIST; How perfectionism shackles you

WHY is that?

Simply put, your psyche still thinks it's the safer option, because there's immeasurable, indisputable proof that, well...it's often true.

And for perfectionists, childhood has usually given ample proof that life is only or mostly "survival of the fittest."

One part of it is that the world is a scary place, and you want to be competent not only for yourself, but for the people you care about, since often they are not (as) capable or you simply don't see them as such.

The other: People often judge one another by results, or at least by our actions. That can often mean feeling left out, discarded or "not good enough" unless we meet someone's standards...and (especially in our formative years) we crave attention, acceptance and love like water in a desert.

BUT there's being smart, being practical and there's taking it too far.

The core truth is, the people you form true connections with, the people you can rely on, the ones that really matter and actually treat you right...

They won't value you based on being perfect, always providing results.

They will value how you generally act and how you react once you make a mistake.

Even from their most selfish selves, they will value it when you treat yourself with kindness and respect, because that means you're more likely to treat them the same way.

And if you've done any work, you know that taking it too far happens because deep down, you're afraid of being discarded or hurt if you don't provide the results.

So WHAT can you do?

You can STOP trading your competence for attention, love and emotional safety.

You're basically outsourcing your entire mental and emotional well-being to others. It's only somewhat manageable since, from an evolutionary perspective, we're hardwired to be internally rewarded for competence, but that is one part of the equation.

Once you DECIDE to take responsibility for that part of yourself, the game changes. It becomes just another skill.

A skill I am an expert at, and I am an expert at teaching.

Let me know when you're ready...

#burnout   #perfectionism  #anxiety #impostorsyndrome #leadership #leadershipskills #executivecoaching